Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Impossible Crushes

Amid the no-man's land between filing for divorce and having my freedom actually granted, finding myself a quasi-single-girl has gotten me thinking about crushes. The miserable, the thrilling, the good, the bad, and the ugly, I cringe at the idea of going through it again. Because I remember how it felt, remember each unique individual in painstaking detail.

Unfortunately, I can't say many of them remember me (then again, maybe that's a good thing, since not everyone ages with equal grace). But that's the nature of a crush, isn't it? Lonely admiration granted from afar fights for air time with the urge to make contact, to hurry things along, even if you know the outcome is destined to be terminal. So many reasons why it can't happen war with the heart-felt desire to make it so, damn the consequences. Or maybe he's just not that into you, and you should knock it off already and stop obsessing.

So, yeah. Guess that's why I write teen fiction--the angst never truly goes away, no matter how many years it's been. Because it's impossible to forget those feelings. Especially when they come knocking afresh. 

4 comments:

Kate said...

I can totally relate. I get crushes on EVERYONE. Luckily, I've learned to ignore most of them (except the one on my husband).
p.s. good luck as a single girl. You're such a cutie, I'm sure they'll be some crushes heading the other direction.

Ara Burklund said...

Thanks, Kate! You're such a sweetheart! : )

Leslie S. Rose said...

I'm always crushing on someone. Either in real life or there's always Thor. Sorry you're going through the big D, but now you've got juicy possibilities.

Ara Burklund said...

Thanks, Leslie! I suppose so--it's just a strange feeling after being married for so long.