Monday, February 25, 2013

Standing on the Cliff

Before I turn off the router and get to the writing I'm actually supposed to be doing today, I wanted to take a minute to write about the prospect of falling in love. Is it something we allow ourselves to do, or is it something that just happens? Is it even possible to control such feelings, or are we mere mortals subject to their whims, only along for the ride? And how about if you've already been there, done that with the person in question and are terrified of letting it happen again because you got hurt so badly the first time around?

Yeah, I'm a mess. Took me years to extract those feelings of loss from my life and move on, but I did it, and now I'm courting their return? This is not a good idea, to say the least. But then, is life ever neat and tidy? Is it even worth living without passion? To paraphrase Chuck Palahniuk, Bad decisions and poor associations make for great writing. So there. Besides, maybe things will be different this time. Maybe it's meant to be; otherwise, the idea wouldn't be so intriguing.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Am I a Publicity Nightmare?

So there's this author questionnaire I'm filling out for Alloy/Warner Brothers. I've been needing to turn it in but haven't yet done so. I will, but it (combined with a quasi-flame war on facebook this morning regarding the wood I have for Quentin Tarantino) got me to thinking, how honest should I be?

A long time ago (far back enough that hallucinogens might have been involved), I came to a realization I considered profound at the time: even though I have eclectic taste in music and a warped sense of humor, I'm just an upper middle-class white girl who likes to write her angst and maybe has a bad attitude. Speaking of which, did I mention my love for Jesus? Like my mom says, church is for the sinner, not the saint.

Anyway, when I go to an author's blog or twitter feed or whatever, I like it best when I can get a sense of his or her personality. Makes me feel like I know them as a person, not just for what they write. I suppose this could be disconcerting to a public figure, but I don't really see myself that way (even if this book winds up selling a bajillion--please, God!--copies), so it's hard to project that distance.

All this to say, if I offend you, I'm sorry. I've been teased for being weird all my life, so the fact that I'm not going to make everyone happy isn't news to me. Hopefully we can still be friends.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Late-Night Communication and Other Bad Ideas

Did high school not teach me anything??? Just saying. I'm 42, and still, I make the same mistakes I was prone to making at 16. Except now that we have email and facebook and all these nifty other means of expressing our innermost thoughts, it's even easier to kick things up a notch in terms of errant behavior.

So, yeah. Wasn't drinking wine--or even hard lemonade--so what's my excuse? I'm going to go with provocation. Encouragement. Carrot-dangling. Well, maybe not that last one, since it sounds kind of dirty. But you get the idea. Because I can get myself into plenty of trouble all by myself. Any help, and all sense of propriety is summarily tossed out the window.

Oh, maybe it's not so bad. Maybe I didn't say that much, so I should stop stressing out. Because cursing every time a piece of junk mail from Groupon or eBay or Domino's arrives in my in box instead of a reaction from last night's late-night recipient isn't helping anything.