Thursday, March 21, 2013

Letting Go and Moving On

Today should have been my 21st wedding anniversary. Instead, I'm anxiously awaiting a settlement conference date to finalize the details of our divorce. Since I'm the one who initiated the process, I can't complain, but it's still sad to think about, all too easy to dwell on.

Along with the divorce, and the unfortunate accompanying tangle of emotions, comes a concurrent break with a couple of forlorn what-ifs (cryptic enough for ya?).  Supposedly, it takes 21 days to break a habit. My question regarding that oft-spouted tidbit of conventional wisdom: even if it's something that's been plaguing you for over 24 years? We'll see. My guess is, replacing the habit with a more positive outlet for the needs involved will be the only way to cure myself of this seemingly unending cycle rooted in futility and rejection.

Anyway, it's time to call up my newly single friends (surprisingly, there's a wave of us) and get out there. Along with posting some better pictures of myself on the dating websites so people don't just see my round face and assume I'm chunky. Because this should be fun, right?

Oy vey.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Romantic Suspense

In finishing up the manuscript I'm currently working on, a tale centered around what essentially amounts to a forbidden love story (albeit a twisted take on the convention), I've been thinking about the concept of anticipation. In the present atmosphere of communicative immediacy, has the art of longing become a thing of the past, relegated to times of world wars and the overseas letters? Perhaps, but I would argue, No.

Just like in the above-mentioned story (which includes some beyond-the-grave horror and science fiction elements), I believe new methods of communication breed anticipation rather than eradicate it, putting us in touch with people with whom we may have previously believed it impossible to interact. And the taste of the resulting anticipation evoked? Undeniably sweet. Mind-blowingly delicious. Satisfyingly savory--or unsavory, depending on your proclivities.

Which is why I don't think the forbidden love story will ever truly go away. Obstacles only make the realization of consummation more tempting, making us crave what we realize we can't--or shouldn't--have, then go after it with a force rooted deep in our souls. Even if we know it could destroy us.